well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
zippers are such a cool invention
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
