It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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