All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Please don't give away my fajitas
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
