There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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