I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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