We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
