i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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