is your mom at the bar?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
