Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
