sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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