We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
