she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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