he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
