it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize