I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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