I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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