Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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