i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
