I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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