dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
