i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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