I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
