Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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