DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
