friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
