Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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