this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
