Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
