i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
