I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
