One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
