Hey man sorry I got all grabby
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
