I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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