Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
