I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
