The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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