I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize