why didn't you poke me back
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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