I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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