dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
