so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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