I'm really into asian looking animals
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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