Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let's get the cat blown out
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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