You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
