I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is the high leading the old right now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
