if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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