I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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