As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
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OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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