her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize