dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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