and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
