I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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