Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
