i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize