he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize