I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
