Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
