I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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