My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together