Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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