I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
